This week I have been tormented with fears and anxieties. It was an attack of the enemy. I knew it...and I just let him do it.
Today, for the first time since New Year's Eve, I am at peace. I have been deeply stressed and tormented in my mind over the Bible study I will be teaching on Thursday. I've taught many such Bible studies and the preparation and teaching of them has all gone smoothly and they ended up being a blessing to many. I expected the same with this one. The truth is, it was the same for this one, except for in my mind where I let the enemy taunt and torment me.
This time, when I submitted my study for approval, I didn't get an immediate "ok to proceed". Because of the holidays, there were long delays and on New Year's Eve, I got word that there would have to be some revisions made. I wasn't told at the time what they would be, just that there needed to be changes and that's when Satan decided to have some fun with me.
It never entered my mind that the changes could be grammatical or format changes. What was I teaching that the church didn't agree with? Were there major differences in my theology and that of the church I love and am so much a part of? Would I be able to keep teaching there? Would I be able to keep going there? These were the thoughts that were plaguing my mind. How did the leadership see me now? Did they still think I was worthy to teach their women...their children? Can I look them in the eye next time I see them? Oh, yes, my tormented mind was running away full speed down a slippery slope leading to despair. I was on the verge of tears most of the week. I even tried to cancel the class twice.
Yesterday, I got a call from the church secretary telling me that the assistant pastor wouldn't be able to meet with me to discuss the study, but he left me some notes and I could come pick them up. I got them last night. Before I opened them, I prayed, "Lord, let me take whatever this says in the right way. Let my response to it be pleasing to you." The revisions were minor. Just a few suggestions to bring clarity. A couple of typos were found. A really great teaching by Pastor Scott was offered to enhance one of the chapters. I listened to it and am excited to include it.
In Job 3:25, Job said, "That which I have greatly feared has come upon me." That which I have greatly feared did not come upon me. What I greatly feared was nothing but my own imaginations. For this reason we are instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. I knew all this and just didn't do it. I let the devil have a hay day. Shame on me.
The greatest thing about teaching is what I myself learn and am able to pass on. This will be a great object lesson for my class. I thank the Lord that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I have nothing to fear.
Today, for the first time since New Year's Eve, I am at peace. I have been deeply stressed and tormented in my mind over the Bible study I will be teaching on Thursday. I've taught many such Bible studies and the preparation and teaching of them has all gone smoothly and they ended up being a blessing to many. I expected the same with this one. The truth is, it was the same for this one, except for in my mind where I let the enemy taunt and torment me.
This time, when I submitted my study for approval, I didn't get an immediate "ok to proceed". Because of the holidays, there were long delays and on New Year's Eve, I got word that there would have to be some revisions made. I wasn't told at the time what they would be, just that there needed to be changes and that's when Satan decided to have some fun with me.
It never entered my mind that the changes could be grammatical or format changes. What was I teaching that the church didn't agree with? Were there major differences in my theology and that of the church I love and am so much a part of? Would I be able to keep teaching there? Would I be able to keep going there? These were the thoughts that were plaguing my mind. How did the leadership see me now? Did they still think I was worthy to teach their women...their children? Can I look them in the eye next time I see them? Oh, yes, my tormented mind was running away full speed down a slippery slope leading to despair. I was on the verge of tears most of the week. I even tried to cancel the class twice.
Yesterday, I got a call from the church secretary telling me that the assistant pastor wouldn't be able to meet with me to discuss the study, but he left me some notes and I could come pick them up. I got them last night. Before I opened them, I prayed, "Lord, let me take whatever this says in the right way. Let my response to it be pleasing to you." The revisions were minor. Just a few suggestions to bring clarity. A couple of typos were found. A really great teaching by Pastor Scott was offered to enhance one of the chapters. I listened to it and am excited to include it.
In Job 3:25, Job said, "That which I have greatly feared has come upon me." That which I have greatly feared did not come upon me. What I greatly feared was nothing but my own imaginations. For this reason we are instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. I knew all this and just didn't do it. I let the devil have a hay day. Shame on me.
The greatest thing about teaching is what I myself learn and am able to pass on. This will be a great object lesson for my class. I thank the Lord that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I have nothing to fear.
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